[Fake] Breaking News: Citing ‘Humanitarian Concern’, Putin Strikes Child-Killing US-Allies Saudi Arabia and Israel

Upon observing the jubilation in US elite circles over Trump’s illegal bombing of Syrian military equipment (reportedly also killing several civilians) in response to an as-yet unattributed chemical weapons attack (a similar 2013 attacked was initially blamed on Assad by the US but later attributed to al Qaeda), Putin, seeking to reduce tensions between the US and Russia, carried out identical bombings against US-backed countries Saudi Arabia and Israel.

Yemen famine

Starving child in Yemen. Photo: The Guardian

Putin cited ‘humanitarian concern’ over Saudi Arabia’s US-assisted campaign of starving and killing Yemeni children and other civilians, and Israel’s US-assisted campaign of killing Palestinian children and other civilians (including with chemical weapons) and colonization of Palestinian land, ruled illegal by all international legal bodies.

Putin said these acts have gone on long enough (since 1967 in the case of Israel and several years in the case of Saudi), and that someone needed to take a stand and “do something”.  He further noted that unlike Syria, neither Saudi Arabia or Israel is facing an insurgency led by Saudi-sponsored jihadist groups al Qaeda and ISIS, which have killed tens or hundreds of thousands of Syrians.

Rather, both Saudi Arabia and Israel are killing thousands with virtually no repercussions.  After carrying out massacres against civilians (which the UN secretary general said targeted “sleeping children”), including with chemical weapons, Israel received a large boost in assistance from the Obama administration.  Under Obama, Saudi dictator Salman Abdulaziz was the recipient of the biggest weapons deal in US (and world) history.

Putin’s bombings of Saudi Arabia and Israel targeted US-provided bomber jets and helicopters, and caused the same amount of civilian ‘collateral damage’ as Trump’s bombing of Syria.

After the Russian bombings of child-killing allies of the US, US officials and pundits declared war on Russia and said steps were underway to assassinate Putin.

An exasperated Putin responded: “But I was just doing the same thing you were doing in Syria…  Don’t you want Saudi Arabia and Israel to stop killing children?”  He then gasped as something appeared to occur to him, and said: “Are you people just using ‘humanitarian concern’ as a propaganda pretext for attacking places you are trying to conquer?”  He slowly shook his head and added, “For shame.”

He was then hit with a US ‘Tomahawk’ missile fired from a ‘Black Hawk’ helicopter (names academics pointed out would be similar to Germany naming its weapons ‘Dreidel’ and ‘Jew’), and died due to being splattered over a 300-yard radius.

Russian automated response systems then activated, and Trump was blown up by a Russian missile.

US automated response systems then activated, and Moscow and St. Petersburg were wiped out by nuclear blasts, with US officials citing the Russian annexation of Crimea.  Russian nuclear missiles are currently en route to US cities, with Russian officials citing the US-led killing of an estimated 500,000 Iraqi children via siege prior to the US’s 2003 invasion of Iraq.

Robert J. Barsocchini is an independent researcher and writer whose interest in propaganda and global force dynamics arose from working as a cross-cultural intermediary for large corporations in the US film and Television industry.  His work has been cited, published, or followed by numerous professors, economists, lawyers, military and intelligence veterans, and journalists.  He begins work on a Master’s Degree in American Studies in the fall.

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  • Dr Mindbender

    Putin playing chicken, and not addressing US aggression will be noted by US Generals, and they (US) now have a green light to light up Syria. Putin should have immediately ordered all US troops out and enforced a US no fly zone over Syria for Illegal US Missile Strikes. The foolishness of allowing US planes to still be operating over Syria ( RAQQA) is proof that PUTIN is on the CIA payroll. No leader would put their troops at risk by kissing the behind of an Aggressor. Putin is a Poodle and out of his league.

    • Beverly Larkwood

      The difference between Putin and western leaders, especially American leaders, is that he is very careful in making decisions and his moves. Number 45’s illegal attack on a sovereign country is proof that we have a highly irrational and unstable leader. Putin is very rational and very cool, so is his foreign minister Sergey Lavrov. Don’t worry, there will be an appropriate response, one that will be solid and also prevents a military clash.

      • Dr Mindbender

        Putin is being encircled: He should look at a map sometime. I am aware that the us government is an insane asylum. However, Putin needs to understand that INSANE people only respect and OBEY “punitive actions” against their aggression. Silence from Putin, ( no consequence for the illegal actions) will only signal a green light for more US Terror Bombing. Putin should know this, but I suspect there may be more going on behind the Wall. If Putin does not want to end up like, Gaddaffi, he better learn to hit back. Appeasement only eggs the aggressors on.

        • collette.robert@yahoo.com

          No need for Putin to fight with the pig. America is overextended and cannot maintain their military assault on the planet. Americans will have to wait a little longer before they will be able to bring their democracy and freedom to the world.

          • Beverly Larkwood

            America should never be allowed to bring her non-existing “democracy” and lack of “freedom” to the rest of the world…. 😉

      • collette.robert@yahoo.com

        The difference between statesmen and petty thugs

    • Charlie Primero

      Putin knows President Trump’s response to the #GasHoax was nothing more than a kabuki theater fireworks show to please American Israel-firsters.

  • Carl_Herman

    Great “history lesson”, Robert; thank you 🙂

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  • kimyo

    if a nuclear device is detonated on/over a u.s. city, the perpetrators are more likely to be nsa/cia than russians.

    if the resulting nuclear exchange is a ‘limited’ one, then it’s the nsa/cia for sure.

  • Charlie Primero

    It’s true, if there are any countries in the 21st century who deserve a nice bombing for doing evil shit that increases suffering in the world, it’s Saudi Arabia and Israel.

    • Carl_Herman

      The children deserve bombing, Charlie?

      With your logic, the US should also be bombed. Which city do you prefer first? Please elaborate how these bombs would help Americans.

      Bro: your call how you live the Life given you, AND I suggest what you already know to decrease suffering rather than spread it around.

      • Charlie Primero

        > The children deserve bombing, Charlie?

        LOL Your love of Strawmen will last forever. You can’t help it.

        It’s true that Americans in general would benefit tremendously from some up-close and personal real-world experience with modern air dropped munitions.

        Nothing like Dresden has ever happened in the experience of 99.9% of Americans.

        I pick Washington D.C and New York City. The experience might change their ambivalence about Obama and Trump raining down such munitions upon other nations don’t you think?

  • mothwhoflysbackwards

    Putin and Russia should retaliate in kind and should mirror back the behavior that the American set “rules” normalize.

    During the cold war both sides refrained from acts they knew the other side could match. If one side put a horse shoe in their boxing glove, they knew they would get the same. If one side went for the other’s testicles, they put their own balls on the line.

    I would suggest Russia starts to focus on Yemen, expose the humanitarian catastrophe, show pictures of starving children and ask if America has any shame … how many starved children are enough for America? Introduce U.N. resolutions condemning Saudi Arabia and force America to veto them. Accuse America of complicity and declare that if the world won’t help stop the slaughter of children, then Russia will.

    As my mom used to say: sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

    Syria and Iran have successfully endured many low blows, will the Saudis be as successful, and what happens to our base in Bahrain if Saudi goes down?

    So America must either stop with the low blows or understand that Russia will start to administer some of their own.

    I do understand that Russia does not want to strike low blows, and that reflecting back America’s self appointed role as the world’s policeman is totally incompatible withe the idea of a multi polar world order, but they could explain they are simply playing by the rules as established by America. Russia should also say how they wish to return to the rules embodied in the U.N. charter, but cannot at the present time because of the impending mass starvation in Yemen, which is being perpetrated by the American protected Saudis.

    So America will either have to stop the low blows, buy the Saudis a cup or explain why the U.N. charter is not binding on America but is on every other nation.

    Bottom line: if Syrian forces can now be attacked with out consequences every time a head chopper and his white helmet running buddies cry gas then Syria is doomed.

    (Above copied from a comment I posted at the Saker. The phrase turn about is fair play comes to mind, also it would put the screws to the Saudis and perhaps get them to think twice about their support for the head choppers. It seems a stretch to think it would lead to two nuclear decapitation strikes and while I realize this is “fake news it” could point to a viable policy.)

    • collette.robert@yahoo.com

      Russia has superiority in the electromagnetic spectrum and can take out America at will. They will let America destroy itself with its contrived false flags. 34 out of 59 cruise missiles taken out by the Syrian air force and SS200’s. Russia is currently working on the SS500. The U.S. has nothing to compare. The U.S. is already showing itself to be a criminal government with megalomaniacal ambitions and no respect for the sovereignty of other nations. The fascist military industrial complex has failed to keep up with the arms race.

  • collette.robert@yahoo.com

    Putin will keep cool and maintain the high ground. The mad dog is foaming and thrashing but will die soon.