Exclusive Interview with Putin on DNC Emails – From Russia with Love

Putin watdhing the Democratic National Convention Image: Compilations.TV/GAVRILOV (screenshot)

Putin watching the Democratic National Convention Image: Compilations.TV/GAVRILOV (screenshot)

By Michael Collins
Satire

(Washington, DC 7/25) As I was idly wondering what Vladimir Putin would say about the DNC email scandals, I received a call from Vladimir Putin himself. He said he wanted to talk about the Wikileaks release of DNC emails. When I asked why he picked me to contact, he said “I probably strarted at the wrong end of the list” and laughed heartily.

MC: President Putin, did the Russian government hack the DNC email server and then publically release those emails through Wikileaks the day before the Democratic convention?

Putin: Yes.

MC: Yes! Are you serious?

Putin: I’m quite serious.

MC: How can you justify this open meddling in United States politics?

Putin: Your question should be what took Russia so long. The US oligarchs and their minions surround us with military bases and nuclear missiles, damage our trade to Europe, and seek to destabilize our domestic politics.  These emails are nothing in the big picture. But they’re sort of funny, don’t you agree?

MC: I’m not sure that funny is the right word.  What do you mean by that?

Putin:   You’ve got Hillary Clinton running as a strong and independent woman. Of course, nobody would know who she is had she not married Bill Clinton. She’s not independent. Quite the contrary. She had to marry a philandering redneck to get to where she is. When it comes to strength, I can say only this. How strong can you be if you have to cheat and create a rigged game to win the nomination?

MC: Anything else about your leak to cheer us up?

Putin: This situation is the epitome of ironic humor. After the emails were released, the focus was all on DNC Chair and Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz. That’s fine for now but what happens when people start asking why Wasserman-Schultz had the DNC screw Sanders and boost Hillary? Did she just wake up one day and decide this on her own?. Not likely. She was and remains Hillary’s agent.   It will take people a while to arrive that answer. When enough people hear about Wasserman-Schultz’s key role in the Clinton campaign, everything will be clear.   It’s adios Hillary. That inevitable conclusion, by the way, is the reason the DNC made such a big deal about Russia hacking the DNC.  That was diversion one right out of the gate.

MC: Is Russia an equal opportunity hacker? What about the Trump campaign?

Putin: Why not? I hear there are some very rather graphic home movies and videos of Mr. Trump with some interesting playmates. But that can wait. Enjoy Hillary’s hypocrisy to the fullest. When it comes to either candidate, my only advice is let the buyer beware.

That was it for my time with the man. I’d like to think it was Putin. Even if it wasn’t, this is what I suspect Putin would say.

Satire
Creative Commons 4.0

"I didn't have a conspiracy with that woman, Debbie Wasserman Schultz" HRC Images: Veni and aphrodite-in-nyc

I didn’t have a conspiracy with that woman, Debbie Wasserman Schultz.  HRC   Images: Veni and aphrodite-in-nyc

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  • andrew1212

    IS WIKILEAKS A CIA OPERATION?

    Ever notice the charges never stick–there are never consequences.

    No consequences for Hillary…Debbie Wasserman Schultz actually gets an upgrade to Clinton’s campaign.

    Corrupt media gets to profit $15 BILLION off the storm surrounding the federal
    elections of 2016…maybe the CIA knows no one in the USA cares about
    these corrupt politicians–so they have to fan the flames to get We, the People to participate.

    Did the CIA or the U.S. State Department pay any price for earlier revelations?

    Maybe the only victims of wikileaks are enemies of the U.S.–maybe some of the wikileaks leaks are real and some are fake…

    Why doesn’t wikileaks publish hard to find intelligence books?

    Why aren’t there any documents about 9/11?

    Why does wikileaks–which isn’t even in the U.S.–allow the U.S. government
    censors to OK their releases (as they did with the new DNC-Clinton
    releases)? That makes zero effing sense. The timing is, of course, impeccable–3 days before the DNC convention starts–time for some publicity!!!

    How can a man in a room which the CIA-NSA-DIA all know exactly where he is continuously outsmart
    a military-intelligence sector which has spent billions and billions of
    dollars to, among other things, read and have access to every
    electronic communication on the planet?

    Maybe Michael Hastings was
    going to out wikileaks–so they whacked him…Maybe Michael Hastings
    was going to out Edward Snowden as a fake CIA operation so they whacked
    Hastings.

    Maybe by releasing the info thru wikileaks–the U.S.
    government gets to play the victim card (like it so often does). When
    you’re the victim the world cries for you–you can make demands on other
    governments much easier because they are sympathetic.

    Does the world really believe the U.S. government couldn’t take down a website if it wanted to?

    • Brockland A.T.

      Even if Wikileaks wasn’t a CIA op, its been infiltrated enough to be almost like one.

      The DNC Emails are the real thing; that’s what matters.

  • Eric Zuesse

    MASTERFUL! It was so much like Putin, that, at the end, I was disappointed to see it’s only “satire.” I was hoping to see there a different explanation. You can write Putin’s lines!

    • Well, If Hillary Clinton can channel Elanor Roosevelt, I can write Putin lol. Thanks.

  • WillDippel

    Here is an article that looks at one of the more interesting emails from the DNC collection:

    http://viableopposition.blogspot.ca/2016/07/political-patronage-democratic-party.html

    This email shows us exactly how the political system in the United States has become corrupted by money.

  • ICFubar

    the only thing really new is that DNC corrupt politicing is now out in the open. In this age of electronic communications hacking is a double edged sword. In the era before high tech they had to do backroom deals.

    • I too have seen way too much for way too long. The favorite fraud is “moving to the center”. That is the ultimate con. A party nominates someone based on the primaries then that candidate shifts positions. Had the person not been nominated, of course, no “move to the center” would have occurred exposing the underlying fraud. Trump is an unbridled narcissist. He’s only emboldened by the Democrats idiocy. This will lead to more buffoon/moron moments on his part. It’s a cycle speeding up as both candidates race to rock bottom.

      • ICFubar

        Man oh man you nailed it. Oh to have an actual articulate, non teleprompter using, statesman running. Someone, anyone, with a well rounded knowledge with book and real world experience in the law, states craft and history, with the cajones to take on the shadow government. But America is well and far beyond that now.

  • July 11, 2016 Vladimir Putin Is The Only Leader The West Has

    A Reuters news report under the names of presstitutes Robin Emmott and Sabine Siebold shows how devoid the West is of honest, intelligent and responsible journalists and government officials. First we will examine the dishonesty or incompetence of the reporters and then that of Western government officials.

    http://www.paulcraigroberts.org/2016/07/11/paul-craig-roberts-vladimir-putin-is-the-only-leader-the-west-has-if-we-do-not-support-him-washington-will-destroy-life-on-earth/

    • Great video and also link to Paul Craig Roberts. Roberts just nails it so often. There’s a video clip out there, well worth finding, in which Putin points out that the line the Putin-Trump bromance is based on is something Putin did not say. He was asked about Trump. The translation took Putin calling Trump something like ‘fascinating’ and made it ‘fantastic’ or some descriptor indicating approval. The entire bromance story is simply bull shit as far as Putin goes. As for Trump admiring Putin, that’s not an uncommon view among many real Republicans. interesting times in addition to being frightening.

      • This is what I have on the topic. Jun 19, 2016 Putin on Donald Trump and US elections

        Fareed Zakaria, as a host on CNN, is known to misquote Putin as well as misrepresent Russia’s intentions to the world. At the St Petersburg Economic Forum 2016, Zakaria wasn’t going to get away with that very easily It’s important to understand that Trump, unlike Hillary, is the candidate that doesn’t call for war with Russia, and that’s the extent of Putin’s apparent support for Mr Trump.

        https://youtu.be/avBAT6Op0lU

        • Thanks so much! “I said that Trump is bright (colorful)…[not ‘brilliant]” said Putin. Putin takes Zakaria to school. Putin’s number one concern is the threat of war posed by idiotic US policies. I hope somewhere in the power elite, someone is listening.

          • I would not hold my breath. The Banksters and the Pentagon are all in! Jun 29, 2016 Neoconservatives Endorse Hillary Clinton for President Because They Know She’s One of Them

            Neoconservatives like Iraq warmonger Robert Kagan aren’t endorsing Hillary Clinton for president merely because they want rid of Donald Trump, but because she’s one of them, writes Trevor Timm at The Guardian.

            http://www.truthdig.com/eartotheground/item/neoconservatives_endorse_hillary_clinton_for_president_because_they_know_sh/

          • December 25, 2015 Homeland Defense: The Pentagon Declares War on America

            State Terrorism directed against the American People and Democracy Itself. The Department of Defense now authorizes the domestic deployment of US troops in “the conduct of operations other than war” including law enforcement activities and the quelling of “civil disturbances”: “Federal military commanders have the authority, in extraordinary emergency circumstances where prior authorization by the President is impossible and duly constituted local authorities are unable to control the situation, to engage temporarily in activities that are necessary to quell large-scale, unexpected civil disturbances…“

            http://www.globalresearch.ca/homeland-defense-the-pentagon-declares-war-on-america/5335483

  • Jul 24, 2016 Putin’s Warning: Full Speech 2016

    Initially, I translated only a small portion of this segment as I felt the key message must be made obvious. However, I have been pleasantly surprised with many people around the world reaching out to translate this into other languages, as well as to see the full address.

    https://youtu.be/kqD8lIdIMRo

  • Jul 19, 2016 Putin: We are not anti-American, but we oppose American neocon imperialism

    Russian President Vladimir Putin stated that there is “respect and love” between Russia and the US, with particular admiration for the American people, emphasizing that Russia does not engage in anti-Americanism, while being interviewed by Swiss channel RTS, in St Peterburg.

    https://youtu.be/B4-q63CVnk0

    • Marycbianco4

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