Obama declares War on Terror Financing (WTF); microcredit is now terrorism

(Satire): President Obama announced at a White House press conference today that microcredit, small loans to the very poor and the topic of the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize, would now be considered terrorism because maximizing public benefits of credit is a threat to the US financial system, and lives saved today might become terrorists in the future. The president opened the War on Terror Financing (WTF). Press conference excerpts:

President Obama: As a Nobel Peace Prize winner, I know what is and is not peaceful. Microcredit, uncollateralized loans to people Goldman Sachs wouldn’t let into their lobby, is both a threat to our financial order and a threat to world peace. Therefore, microcredit is now considered financial and global terrorism, a direct threat to US national security, and subject to our new war: War on Terror Financing (WTF).

Q: How is helping poor families work their way out of poverty a WTF threat to anyone?

Obama: Microcredit is financial terrorism because 90% of families work their way out of poverty, over 95% of the loans are repaid, and microcredit earns a profit as it ends poverty. We obviously cannot tolerate this attack on our debt-based banking and financial systems. It’s US banking leaders like Goldman Sachs who are doing God’s work, folks, and they maximize shareholder profits by maximizing and increasing debt, not by people working out of debt.

Q: I’m sorry, Mr. President; I still don’t understand WTF problem is with ending poverty and debt.

Obama: That’s ok: it’s my job to sell this. Our economic job-creators work together as oligarchies to maximize their own profits: about $30 trillion in off-shore tax havens in current total holdings. They need this profit to motivate their job-creating. If we allow microfinance to continue, folks might start thinking about banking structures that maximize public benefits rather than bank profits. This thinking would be the beginning of the end of our financial system. The public might think about debt-free money that ends national debt, demand the return of the trillions we’ve taken from them for “investments” in CAFRs, and not stop until they had full-employment for infrastructure investment.

Q: That’s a lot, sir: can you put that into a sound bite?

Obama: Yes. US financial oligarchs are asset-holes. Finance that helps the 99% rather than our asset-holes’ profits is terrorism. We kill terrorists.

Q: WTF solves other problems of families having futures brighter than poverty?

Obama: As you know, the US has always taken the lead to prevent poverty from being ended. We do this because lives saved today might become living terrorists tomorrow.

Q: WTF… wait, what?

Obama: (smiles) I know, I know, these ideas take some time to understand. Even though some other Nobel Prize laureates disagree, I stand firm with President Bush that our leadership for humanitarian work is best, as major US universities are coming around to recognize. That’s why the job of corporate media is so important to communicate these ideas. The sooner Americans embrace our agenda, the sooner 22 American veterans will stop committing suicide every day.

Q: Sir, I’m sorry: could you go over WTF benefits are for average Americans?

Obama: Sure. For example: US freedom requires increasing government debt to buy two Hellfire missiles. We’ll drone-fire one to destroy a microcredit meeting of low-income women, then another to double-tap rescue workers who make themselves “terror associates” with so-called “help.” On a related note, we’re working-up an Executive Order to make so-called “love” illegal, too, because it has people come to the aid of terrorists. But the only benefit Americans need to know is this: “Better dead than terrorist-led!

Q: And we understand America’s children are WTF helping with propaganda?

Obama: Yes. We’re receiving hundreds of responses from school children to help people understand how drone kills around the globe protect America’s freedoms. We’ll put this catchy-one on-screen from an elementary school student for everyone to sing-a-long: it’s called the Drone drone (everyone stands to chant):

D is for death that comes from the skies!

R is for respect in all the world’s eyes!

O is for Obama – bringer of peace!

N is for niceness – what the US seeks!

and E is for everyone under control!

(non-satiric note): Explore the links for historical connections and Orwellian acts of US government in the present. The most elegant solution is for Americans in military and government to recognize “emperor has no clothes” unlawful orders, refuse them, and arrest those who issued them.

As a teacher of history, government, and economics, here’s my attempt to most accurately frame US history compared with corporate media texts.

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“Interview” series:

Satire series:

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Note: I make all factual assertions as a National Board Certified Teacher of US Government, Economics, and History, with all economics factual claims receiving zero refutation since I began writing in 2008 among Advanced Placement Macroeconomics teachers on our discussion board, public audiences of these articles, and international conferences. I invite readers to empower their civic voices with the strongest comprehensive facts most important to building a brighter future. I challenge professionals, academics, and citizens to add their voices for the benefit of all Earth’s inhabitants.

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Carl Herman is a National Board Certified Teacher of US Government, Economics, and History; also credentialed in Mathematics. He worked with both US political parties over 18 years and two UN Summits with the citizen’s lobby, RESULTS, for US domestic and foreign policy to end poverty. He can be reached at Carl_Herman@post.harvard.edu

Note: Examiner.com has blocked public access to my articles on their site (and from other whistleblowers), so some links in my previous work are blocked. If you’d like to search for those articles other sites may have republished, use words from the article title within the blocked link. Or, go to http://archive.org/web/, paste the expired link into the box, click “Browse history,” then click onto the screenshots of that page for each time it was screen-shot and uploaded to webarchive. I’ll update as “hobby time” allows; including my earliest work from 2009 to 2011 (blocked author pages: here, here).

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  • gozounlimited

    The Startling Truth about Wealth Inequality in America – Breaking Inequality…..Blame It On The Terrorists ….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhUkj707OBs

    • gozounlimited

      The only seeming solution is for the U.S. to create a fiscal and monetary environment which in effect makes the dollar as good as gold, i.e., stabilizes the general price level and by inference the dollar price of gold bullion itself. Then a modest reserve of bullion could reduce the narrow gold price fluctuations effectively to zero, allowing any changes in gold supply and demand to be absorbed in fluctuations in the Treasury’s inventory.

      Convertibility can be instituted gradually by, in effect, creating a dual currency with a limited issue of dollars convertible into gold. Initially they could be deferred claims to gold,for example, five-year Treasury Notes with interest and principal payable in grams or ounces of gold……….
      http://www.gold-eagle.com/article/can-us-return-gold-standard

      • Tonto

        Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! You and Carl should do some serious reading to broaden your knowledge horizons. The Gold standard was thrown out for a reason. The reason is, it’s too easy to manipulate Gold, something that every Gold-hyping huckster uses every day of the week. To the Gold hucksters, everything equates to an important reason to buy more Gold. “We sell Gold coins (which are not pure Gold) for only $30 over spot!” Really? That’s funny, because Gold has dropped more than 30% in a relatively short period of time, hasn’t it. Oh, I know, the government is manipulating the price of Gold lower, right? LoL, fruitcake.

        I have looked at micro-lending, Carl. It’s another pathetic public banking scheme, isn’t it. And many Micro-lending schemes promise huge returns. Ha-ha! How much of YOUR money are you lending in these micro-lending schemes, Carl? Micro-lending is in reality about making a tiny, not financially worth the effort, unsecured loan to people and organizations that have no visible means of support and can pledge no collateral. It’s a populist niche market that is entirely unregulated and unregulatable. It’s a humanitarian scheme meant to end poverty. Here we go again! Carl is ending poverty! Again! What a superlative genius! Hooray!

        So, Carl Herman is an evangelizing, poverty-ending school teacher, is he. Well, like they say, Carl, “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.” Stop blathering on and on, Carl. You are embarrassing yourself in your endless search for deification on the Internet. Have you ever published anything about which you were later ashamed? Of course not. You’re suffering from know-it-all delusions of grandeur broader than most universes. Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

        • Carl Herman

          Tonto! Tonto! Tonto! You’ll receive in kind for what you give, pal. Good luck with that. Microcredit, and yes it’s been made into a profit business in some areas, has reached over 100 million of the world’s lowest-income families. This policy has likely saved over 100 million human lives from the most gruesome agonizing deaths.

          Looked at microcredit, have you? I spent about ten years of my life working to realize this.

          Be proud of yourself; choices have consequences.

        • Carl_Herman

          Tonto! Tonto! Tonto! You’ll receive in kind for what you give, pal. Good luck with that. Microcredit, and yes it’s been made into a profit business in some areas, has reached over 100 million of the world’s lowest-income families. This policy has likely saved over 100 million human lives from the most gruesome agonizing deaths.

          Looked at microcredit, have you? I spent about ten years of my life working to realize this.

          Be proud of yourself; choices have consequences.

          • Tonto

            Only a school teacher who doesn’t have a penny in micro-credit extended anywhere would come up with such tripe that criticizes “profit”. Did you ever think that if you were more focused on profit, YOU could make more of a difference in the world? NO. You always deal in round numbers like how your spooky thoughts “saved over 100 million human lives”. LoL.

            For what were they saved? So they can have another six or seven hundred million scraping and starving progeny destroying their surroundings and increasing the squalor? I know, give them public sewers! Let them shit in the water! That will solve all sorts of problems.

            Your thinking doesn’t add up. You play the harp strings of a scientific humanitarian, while ignoring the inhumane and filthy environment destroying consequences of the policies you adhere to in the belief you are saving lives, or, ending poverty, or, expressing some sort of genius thought everyone should pay attention to, because you’re ending poverty or saving hundreds of millions of lives…, when all these policies you so admire really are doing is, increasing the suffering of the greater lot of humanity.

            You’re ignoring the infinite complexity of reality, which drags down every thought you have. You do not know how to think. Try to think things through, Herman, before you expose your thoughts to the gullible masses hungry for answers about why their existence is being increasingly stressed. You know they are prone to revolution right now. Is that your choice? Think of the consequences, Herman.

            Their existence is being increasingly stressed because of people like you who profess they have answers to problems that are infinitely complex. And when the revolution you’re after and about comes, you must be able to realize, your head will be on one of the first pikes.

            You have no answers, Herman. You have a censor, but no editor.

          • Carl_Herman

            You argue from ignorance, pal, and all can see it. There is zero academic disagreement of the benefits for ending poverty: it saves lives, reduces population growth rates in every historical case, reduces terrorism, agrees with our morals to end gruesome suffering, and is all affordable with 0.7% of developed nations’ GNI.

            There is zero political disagreement: all nations are signed-on for this (they just don’t do it).

            And 100 million lives saved? Yeah, that’s a conservative estimate based on average family size in developing nations and projections of death rates when you compare families in absolute poverty with families living above poverty.

            I appreciate your “literary foil” to deepen interested readers’ understanding, tonto.

          • Tonto

            “There is zero academic disagreement of the benefits for ending poverty:
            it saves lives, reduces population growth rates in every historical
            case, reduces terrorism, agrees with our morals to end gruesome
            suffering, and is all affordable with 0.7% of developed nations’ GNI.”

            Name one country, state, city, or hamlet where poverty has been erased OR population growth has been stopped by micro credit schemes, public banking or any other scientific/humanitarian scheme. Name one.

            You cannot. There aren’t any.

            All these academics you speak of live in a dream world of delusion. The academics are as much a problem as anyone in this world -including criminal bankers and rogue cops who murder. It sounds good to say you are ending poverty or reducing the population. It is quite another thing to be able to begin to reverse the scientific/humanitarian trend of destroying the world in haste by coincidentally scientifically increasing poverty and over-population everywhere.

            Go back and read about what a place was feudal Japan, before gunboat diplomacy forced scientific/humanitarian ways upon the Japanese. The lesson learned there is a universal lesson. Fukushima, Hiroshima and Nagasaki are the ever-lasting crescendos that top it all off. Has scientific/humanitarianism ended suffering in Japan? Hah! Has it ended population growth? No. But it will end it, because Japan is dying now, having been destroyed in a hundred-plus years from the effects of the pragmatic scientific/humanitarianism you extoll as the omniscient source of intelligent life. Scientific/humanitarianism is nothing but obsessive-compulsive hogwash! There is nothing logical about it. It is all about hand-wringing your way into a worsened world.

            You have entirely missed the importance of the most important knowable of all human knowables. It is a categorical truth, and every academic on the planet ignores this truth by professing their greatly conceited scientific/humanitarian omniscience.

            Reality is infinitely complex. Reality is not only infinitely complex, in fact, every facet of reality is in itself infinitely complex. There are no experts. There are only pretenders, and better liars. Until you can solve this riddle, then you (and all the other academics everywhere in the world) are little more than charlatans.

            And IF and when you do bother to take the time to think this simple riddle through, you will change your tune. You too will see everything Carl Herman has been writing, is doing nothing but adding to the great weight of the woes of this world.

            I don’t care a moral spec of spittle about “ending [today’s] gruesome suffering”. From my perspective, morality is about one thing, preserving the world of humanity for future generations. You keep advocating pragmatic change to try to make things better for more people living today. But, Carl, this populist scientific philosophy is exactly why things are so damned bad. It’s all about the scientifically trained fools who think they can ignore the infinite complexity of reality and make a better world in spite of it, -as if they were omniscient, and could foresee the folly of their absurdly wishful thinking.

            And it should be abundantly clear from recent events, there is an increasing amount of gruesome suffering going on. Worldwide, most babies are being born into it now. It was not always this way, Carl, not in Japan, and not anywhere on the planet until scientific/humanitarianism proclaimed itself the best source of truth. Things are getting worse due to all the academic scientific/humanitarianism. Thanks to all the scientific-trained academics the world over, gruesome suffering is pretty much the norm now. Isn’t it.

            Take a look around, Carl. Take a look around, because, if people like you have their way, these are the good old days. Why don’t you just leave the making of a better world to the deities, and, expend your efforts toward preserving the world that was created long before anyone had all these obscene scientific/humanitarian ideas you share?

            You are not competent enough to make a better world. Your assertion that you are that competent is merely a wish to be god, or godly. Do you really want to play god, Carl?

            Hey, Carl. I and a whole bunch of other people live here on the planet too. And I think it’s a pretty nice place. I think it would be a whole lot nicer place if all the scientific/humanitarianists would climb back under the rock, out from which they crawled back during the Enlightenment, before they all get their heads planted on pikes by the revolution they are trying to inspire.

          • Carl Herman

            The measurement for an area ending poverty as a fundamental issue is to decrease the infant mortality rate to 50 or less infant deaths per 1,000 live births. Many nations over time have achieved that level of reducing poverty and achieving health (not eliminating it); all nations since 1900.

            We all live our lives in at least some areas with statistics that measure our success, and we apply academic study to improve those areas. We all see the fallacy of you attacking such fundamental use of education to improve our lives.

            Keep arguing, tonto; you help people choose whether actions such as we propose are worth understanding and enacting or whether it’s more attractive to embrace your ontology and resignation.

            Thank you for your service in this polarization, tonto.

          • Carl_Herman

            The measurement for an area ending poverty as a fundamental issue is to decrease the infant mortality rate to 50 or less infant deaths per 1,000 live births. Many nations over time have achieved that level of reducing poverty and achieving health (not eliminating it); all nations since 1900.

            We all live our lives in at least some areas with statistics that measure our success, and we apply academic study to improve those areas. We all see the fallacy of you attacking such fundamental use of education to improve our lives.

            Keep arguing, tonto; you help people choose whether actions such as we propose are worth understanding and enacting or whether it’s more attractive to embrace your ontology and resignation.

            Thank you for your service in this polarization, tonto.

          • Tonto

            Resignation?

            Open your eyes, Herman.

            You have made a deal with the devil. You are part of the problem.

            Try fighting the good fight for a while, instead of forever seeking the putrid academic approval of all your brain-dead scientific/humanitarianism that is just a small part in the circular-reasoning delusion that is destroying this world.

            You are embracing a belief that states, mankind has reached a pinnacle of knowledge models, scientific/humanitarianism, or logical positivism, whatever you want to call it. Do you see any evidence for the achievement of some sort of pinnacle knowledge?

            Let me suggest you go back and read an historical series of textbooks. Assess the common delusion that you find there. The academic delusions of today are no different than those of yesteryear, Herman.