The 10 Most Excellent Reasons to Attack Iran

Reasons to Attack Iran

By leading anti-war activist David Swanson, author of Day Break and War Is A Lie, who runs the websites and (formerly

1. Iran has threatened to fight back if attacked, and that’s a war crime. War crimes must be punished.

2. My television says Iran has nukes. I’m sure it’s true this time. Just like with North Korea. I’m sure they’re next. We only bomb places that really truly have nukes and are in the Axis of Evil. Except Iraq, which was different.

3. Iraq didn’t go so badly. Considering how lousy its government is, the place is better off with so many people having left or died. Really, that one couldn’t have worked out better if we’d planned it.

4. When we threaten to cut off Iran’s oil, Iran threatens to cut off Iran’s oil, which is absolutely intolerable. What would we do without that oil? And what good is buying it if they want to sell it?

5. Iran was secretly behind 9-11. I read it online. And if it wasn’t, that’s worse. Iran hasn’t attacked another nation in centuries, which means its next attack is guaranteed to be coming very soon.

6. Iranians are religious nuts, unlike Israelis and Americans. Most Israelis don’t want to attack Iran, but the Holy Israeli government does. To oppose that decision would be to sin against God.

7. Iranians are so stupid that when we murder their scientists they try to hire a car dealer in Texas to hire a drug gang in Mexico to murder a Saudi ambassador in Washington, and then they don’t do it — just to make us look bad for catching them.

7. b. Oh, and stupid people should be bombed. They’re not civilized.

8. War is good for the U.S. economy, and the Iranian economy too. Troops stationed in Iran would buy stuff. And women who survived the war would have more rights. Like in Virginia. We owe Iranians this after that little mishap in 1953.

9. This is the only way to unite the region. Either we bomb Iran and it swears its eternal love to us. Or, if necessary, we occupy Iran to liberate it like its neighbors. Which shouldn’t take long. Look how well Afghanistan is going already.

10. They won’t give our drone back. Enough said.

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  • Medie Boswell

    We need to bomb Pakistan too. After all they were hiding Bin Laden , while we were paying them Billions of dollar , so they could help Alquida kill our troops. Plus they need rebuilding too. If we kill off a few million of them, then the ones in the USA can go home and we can have our jobs back.

  • Netanyahu will confer with President Obama at the White House on March 5th to discuss an attack on Iran. On March 8th the FBI plan to shutdown and scrub 4 million computers for an alleged DNS virus. It is possible that the false flag could be a cyber attack on the Internet launched by Anonymous to justify a permanent shutdown of the most effective means of resistance.

    Please Consider: Purim 2012 Red Alert: Fun For Netanyahu Might Not Be Good For You

  • Daisee

    Thanks for the break. Needed it.

  • Johnny

    Yeah….because the fact that Saddam had killed hundreds of thousands didn’t warrant going there. I mean, their government being imperfect is way worse than dying at the hands of the dictator. I am not all about war, but you sir are a schmuck if you think that there is never a need or time to be proactive. I have an idea….lets wait till they actually use a nuke before we even discuss war. Why don’t we wait till the fight is on our own soil instead of taking it to them. Better yet, let them use the nuke, and still don’t do anything about it because they are oppressed and don’t know any better. In my opinion you represent what is wrong with our nation….the extreme left, and the extreme right. Both sides think they have the answer while 90% of America live in the middle and think you are crazy.

    • Shane

      None of that makes any sense. Really, reread it. Nothing follows. I tried following your train of thought and it was confusing at best and word salad at worst. Its full of strawmen, grasping, and we are all lesser for it.

    • Joey

      Johnny, Like so many people, you have the exact mentality and lack of logical thinking that the article it mocking, and you don’t even realize it, which is what is REALLY wrong with our nation.

    • jose

      Johnny??? Are you retarded??? … Who gashas nukes??? Iraq, or Iran??? Your whole paragraph makes zero sense…. Neither of them has nukes…. You’re a joke and dont speak for any percentage of the population…. Go do some research and taje your head iut if your ass.

    • Shinobe

      Oh poor johny,

      are you 5? do you realise how much we have and still are suffering for the sake of world domination? When China is growing day by day and we all would be lucky if we can get a job waiting tables there in 10 years time. The Israeli government should solve their own problems rather than running to President Obama everytime Ahmadinejad barks at them. Yeah, lets attack Iran, or even better, lets nuke Iran. Wipe it off the face of Earth and bring their black gold to America, because stealing has brought us so much luck and happiness in the past! I just don’t know how much more of this war we can take. The fact that America is so far away from the rest of the world means we would not get bombed, so screw other nations. Just make sure you watch your fox news every night Johny dude. Iranians love Americans, they wear Nike and watch South Park and have posters of Lady Gaga and Woody Allen on their bedroom walls. Lets attack them, they will hate us forever, many of them live in America and Europe, just imagine the hate of the most educated people on Earth (Greeks and Iranians are the most educated people in the world). Maybe then, they show us how much of a terrorist they can be, maybe we need another 9/11? Yeah, cause the first one was so orgasmic. You don’t represent Americans or Jews, you represent the naive fox loving couch potatos! I have always been proud to be American, no more… We are all war criminals if we let this happen.

    • reeeez

      i think u play too much of modern warfare or battlefield.
      get real bro and learn some world politics before saying sth

  • ZoldHuszar

    American leaders KNOW that Iran is no threat to the US or to Israel. America has more nuclear weapons than Iran, as well as a sure way to deliver these with precision to Iranian soil. Likewise, Israel has more nuclear weapons than Iran, as well as a sure way to deliver these with precision to Iranian soil. All nuclear weapons leave signatures which can be tested and traced by sampling mechanisms β€” so we will know instantly the source of a detonated nuclear weapon. Iran knows that the day it uses nuclear weapons against Israel is the day that Persian Civilization ceases to exist. Iran knows that the day any group (Hezbollah) uses nuclear weapons SOURCED by Iran against Israel is the day that Iran ceases to exist. It is not going to happen.

    Amahdinejad is not in charge in Iran, so it does not matter what nonsense he spouts. The Iranian leadership uses anti-Zionism to distract its politically oppressed and economically depressed population, but it has no intention of committing national suicide by actually using nuclear weapons against the US or Israel. The Iranian leadership is far more stable than the nuclear-armed leadership of North Korea, and perhaps more stable than the nuclear-armed leadership of Pakistan.

    As for oil, Iran only has a single natural resource of interest to any other country: oil. To get what it needs, it will sell oil. It might hold up against a world embargo for some time, but ultimately it will change its policies to avoid the embargo. And, if not, it will sink further into economic oblivion. Remember when the world embargoed Iraq under Saddam Hussein? Saddam Hussein did everything he could to avoid the embargo β€” bribing people and smuggling oil. So, that war was not about the SUPPLY of oil because, after all, if we wanted Iraqi oil all we had to do was lift the embargo and write a check to Saddam Hussein. That war was not about weapons of mass destruction, either, because America does not invade or occupy countries with weapons of mass destruction.

    Assume that Iran does want to obtain nuclear weapons. Of course, the main reason that Iran would want nuclear weapons is as a deterrent to foreign intervention β€” an entirely sensible and understandable goal. After all, America (nor Israel) has never invaded or occupied a nuclear-armed power. And, in the last ten years, America has had troops on both borders of Iran as well as a naval force off its shores. Has anyone seen any Iranian soldiers in Canada or Mexico? Has anyone seen the Iranian navy in the Atlantic or Pacific Oceans?

    America has budgeted vast sums of money to support groups who are working for regime change in Iran and to destabilize Iran. That is arguably an act of war. America and/or Israel are likely to have planted those famous destructive computer viruses in Iranian software. America and/or Israel are likely behind the unclaimed assassinations of Iranian scientists. So, Iranian insecurity is not irrational or crazy and Iranian pursuit of nuclear weapons would not be irrational or crazy, either.

    No, these little crises are entirely artificial and arranged for other purposes. So, the supposed fear of a nuclear-armed Iran that American and Israeli leaders are professing and generating is not rational or realistic. If we understand that, we might start studying WHY these leaders are professing and generating an irrational, unrealistic and artificial fear. What purpose does that serve? Whose interests are advanced by that? Those are interesting questions.

  • critter

    Israel will bomb iran this year. The war is being waged now in syria you think hezbollah are the only ones waging asymetrical warfare? Syria is fighting an insurgency albeit brutally they + iran are trying to hold this sanctuary vs hmmmm let me guess israel + the civilized world including us sponsored proxies. Iranian hegemony + a shiite caliphate are a no go with the west, turkey, + the arab league. Syrian regime change is going to happen so israel can take out hezbollah below the golan hts. This is a pre req before the start of airstrikes on iranian nuke sites. Israel will also neutralize gaza insurgents before egypt can succeed in arming them. Wake up, open your eyes its on + very soon. Once israel rolls in with airstrikes the US is doing same within a week of open hostilities. Crippling sanctions are WAR plain + simple, + regime change in iran will be accelerated by asymetric warfare. Gun battles with hezbollah + revolutionary guards vs US,israeli, turks,brits,saudis, kuwaitis + more will be waged in a dozen countries. Quit talking about it. Decisions have already been made, the die is cast + the bigger show is about to unfold.

  • Captain

    I believe we forget that these countries are ran by dictators and religious extremes. That are extreme anti-west. There children fight for there freedom but are killed for free speech things we take for granted. No education , health,freedom to vote ect… I don’t believe we need to fight everyones war but if you feel there such great nice people walk around in Iran, Yemen, ect.. With an American, British flag and see how nice they treat you. Bet you don’t last long… The countries with more power have a duty to protect countries who are in disarray. What you are saying is if my neighbor is beating his wife I should leave it be it’s not my property or wife. I say fight for the weak uphold justice make a better world

  • Kian yep I’m iranian

    Oh my fucking god some of you are
    Fuckin morons…. Captain sounds like your one of the few as well Shinobe who actually seem to have a functional brain .. The only people who want to bomb Iran and other countries are Rascists using the latest bullshit they hear on the news for a reason to prove to themselves they are a superior race .. People like you johnny should be sterilised for your stupidity πŸ˜€

  • Anti-Retard Logic

    you sir are a fucking imbecile. ever single one of your points is retarded. seriously dude! especially the “look how well afghanistan is doing” comment. is that a joke? you must be an opium smoker/user somehow as thats the only thing that could possibly be considered “good” (LOL) out of the US invasion of afghanistan. I bet it’s a little known fact to you that the taliban in afghanistan was actually responsible for reducing the cultivation of opium by like over 90%; and coincidentally the US troops invaded right before the planting season… and within a year opium production was at its highest ever in afghani history. once again your a fucking idiot. fuck yours wars, smoke a joint imbecile.

  • hope you die

    your a sick lonely man, i dont like iraqis tbh for what they did, and look what sort of revenge they got. AND i laugh at you, because innocent people who are dieing and your saying thats good? you must be fucking joking. seriously, go hang yourself and i will host the best party London has ever seen, as much as american soldiers dont deserve to die, neither does the innocent people, its the leaders of a country who shall fight, not their innocent people. go shoot yourself you sick fucking bastard.

  • Ferdinand

    You guys do know he’s kidding right? Every one of his posts are meant to be ironic. This is a joke using reversed psychology to show you how stupid we are for wanting war with Iran. You can’t possibly read this and not laugh. His first point is the best haha.

  • souren

    man you are creazy
    are you joking right? if it’s so then πŸ˜€
    but if no πŸ™ bad you are damn bad
    we are nice people πŸ™ believe me πŸ™‚
    we are not arabssss!!! πŸ˜€

  • Alan Barbour

    All you commenters should be nuked. Except Ferdinand. He gets it.

  • Bob!

    Wow thanks Ferdinand, for a second or two i taught he is being serious and wanted to post a two-word insult here.